disciplined.

I'm reading The Life You've Always Wanted by Ortberg.

The whole book is about spiritual disciplines, what they are and what they are not.
I get caught up a lot in the discipline being the 'practice that gives me points' ... that if I read my Bible every day and pray every day then I'm doing really well and if I don't read and pray every day then I'm not doing really well.

But spiritual disciplines are more than that. They aren't a gage that measures your closeness to God.

Ortberg writes " spiritual disciplines are not about trying to be good enough to merit God's forgiveness and goodwill. They are not ways to get extra credit or to demonstrate to God how deeply we are committed to him. They exist for our sake, not God's."

They are actions that in turn put us in a position to hear the voice of God.

"A disciplined follower of Jesus is someone who discerns when laughter, gentleness, silence, healing words, or prophetic indignation is called for, and offers it promptly, effectively, and lovingly."

Right now, that's is something I need to focus on. There are many around me who are struggling and I need to know what to do. What plan of attack I should take. That right there covers all the bases.

He also talks about joy being a spiritual discipline. And celebration. God is a joyful. Abundantly and overflowingly celebratory. And to live a life in him...we have to find that joy. In every day. In every moment. Good or Bad. Like Daniel says... we have to choose joy.

Putting yourself in positions that make you available to the soft whisper of God is the key to being disciplined follower of Christ.

Retreat Weekend

So, this past weekend I had the awesome chance to go to Rome, GA and meet the team for Brackenhurst this summer.

Friday morning my parents and I hopped into the Yukon and drove 8 hours to get to this beautiful little town.

I must admit.. I was absolutely nervous. And excited. And worried. And anxious. And ready. And not ready.

Yeah...

There are about 24 of us going to Kenya this summer and the majority are from Berry College (which is where Brackenhurst started) so they all know each other.

I get so nervous going places where I know literally no one. I am an introvert to the fullest extent.

Hard Part #1: small talk

...after a while my nerves calmed down and the icebreakers began

That night we went on a scavenger hunt in the pouring rain and darkness for about an hour. And then we did a rock wall exercise.

By the end of the night we were all exhausted. I felt like relationships were really starting to form. You really have to look at the situation differently than a one time camp weekend. Because it's much more than that. I had to consciously tell myself ..."in 2 months I will begin the camp with these people and we will be together...as a family...for 3 months."

Saturday we started sharing stories about where each of us has come from and how far God has brought us. We made Ebenezer's ("God has brought us thus far") out of clay. And then we played cards for awhile. From 2:30-5 we then began the last team building exercise... we were walking on air.

Well..sort of

It was a ropes course in the ceiling of a 40 foot gym.

You climbed up this moving rope ladder. Clipped on to a wire above you and began the 4 steps.

1. walk 20 feet across a wire, there was a rope on each side of you to hold on to. (at this point all I can think is ...this isn't optional... dang it! haha)

2. you unclip your clips above your head and reclip them to the next station(while being 40 feet in the air); then you walk 10 feet on two ropes while you are holding onto one rope. The rope criss cross in the middle so you have to fall forward, grab the two rope and swing your leg up onto the one rope and walk another 10 feet. ooo dang... it's pretty difficult. haha It was funny because I thought I would be freaked out because of how high it was and i didn't want to fall...but really the hard part was just the physical aspect, or lack of haha.

3. unlcip reclip; walk 20 feet across this thin board.

4. unclip reclip; slid across onto a platform. You have a seat belt put around you and then you are pulled forward to clip your harness onto this V-line wire from the ceiling. It's pulling on you (which is why you are buckled in). Your clips are removed and put behind your back and all that was holding me up in the air was the seat belt. Then You are asked to push the buckle on the count of 3 and lean forward...falling 40 feet. YIKES! This was the most difficult part for me. My teammate said it's because I wasn't in control of what was going to happen. True. It may have also been the rational/irrational fear of falling to my death haha. The guy up on the platform with me offered to unbuckle the seat belt so I didn't have to ...and i flew.. what a freakin rush

... needless to say, I felt extremely accomplished.

phew

after that we all passed out for an hour haha

We spent more time eating, talking and hanging out and it was great.

By Sunday I felt that I was a little more in the loop. More a part of the group. Not just Jen and the kids from Berry. But family going to Kenya.

I look forward to the ways the Lord is already working in our team and how over these next couple months apart how he will build bonds.

I think I'm ready for Kenya. I'm still nervous about the 3 months. Not gonna lie.. it's a long time. I absolutely want to go and I am so excited. It's just the distance from my friends and family will be hard without a doubt.

Genesis 12

"Now the Lord said to Abram. Go from your country and your kindred and your father's house to the land that I will show you. And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and him who dishonors you I will curse, and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed"

Matthew 4:19-20
"Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men." Immediately they left their nets and followed him. "

Mark 1:17-18
"And Jesus said to them, "Follow me, and I will make you become fishers of men." And immediately they left their nets and followed."

These disciples left everything, family, friends, jobs, money, stuff, comfort, predictability, food, beds, experiences ... for this new adventure. For the one good and true adventure.
This is where I find comfort. Because I know that Jesus is the only one I need to listen to. And the only one I need to "go" for. And I pray that I can be like the disciples.

They didn't ponder it.. their immediate answer was absolutely Jesus...

I'm truly excited about the trip and I am so ready to find out more about who I am in Christ. Prayers are absolutely appreciated. That's the only way I can do this. Through the power of the Holy Spirit.