glimpse...

also, my pics can be found at http://s908.photobucket.com/albums/ac285/jlschenk1013/

enter in the guest code : jenya17

enjoy

longer school?

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/09/28/obamas-extended-school-year-dire-economic-effects-critics-claim/?test=latestnews
So basically Obama is suggesting that we make school years longer and summer vacations shorter. When i was reading this article are obvious things I agree with. Like the fact that other nations score much higher on their exams than Americans. In general, Americans are not always the most intelligent people.

However, I am not totally convinced that it's the school system that needs adjustment. I mean, yes there are teachers who could care less about their students actual knowledge, they are just going day by day getting paid for something they used to enjoy doing. And some just make it hard on the kids in the classroom, instead of encouraging knowledge and help they flunk kids who they don't like and try to be as unavailable as possible. but that's more about the teachers than it is about the courses.

I mean, I wonder if that did happen if it would actually improve scores? And why do we need test scores to prove anything? I know plenty of people who are brilliant but yet tests get the best of them. More time in the classroom might actually make some kids go crazy. Dealing with apathetic teachers...especially ones who might be working longer and having less vacation.

I think the problems come in on the home front as well. Parents today generally have very little control over what their children do. Kids come home and they play with friends and play video games. They don't work until they are about 18-20. They get their meals made for them. They get everything they want dropped into their lap as a sort of incentive to do better. They are encouraged to play outside but it's not enforced. I think that there is a strong lack of discipline in the home. That parents would rather have happy, obese, unintelligent, non-complaining children than deal with the actual effects of being a strong parent. but then in the end....are their kids really happy? when they find out that at the age of 15 they have early-onset diabetes? when they can't get a job when they turn 18 because they didn't spend enough time learning how to speak English properly? When the world starts holding things back and they are so utterly confused as to why they aren't getting what they want? Homes are filled with empty threats.

Kids lack respect for their parents. Because their parents aren't creating an environment where respect is necessary.

And then there is always the argument that media has something to do with it. Which i think it does. When kids watch their favorite singer or performer on TV and the girls are dressed in clothing that barely (or worse than barely) covers their breasts and their butt. Or men who are running around in chains and baggy clothes, talking like a sailor and degrading women every chance they can. Yeah, great examples. Because the world loves fame and they love attention. and when kids see their 'idols' on TV they want what the world wants and that is to be just like them.

So, in a way i can understand the whole longer school days thing because that's what you can change. You can force that to change. You can't force parents to start being parents. However, I think it would still take action on both sides to produce any sort of positive result.

man, I'm so glad to be done with school ha ha

Urge?

This past weekend Ron told this story about this prayer meeting in the 1700s. This went on for 100 years! In the 12th year they were praying for this situation where this man had shipped something like 8000 African slaves to his island. He made a statement to the effect of "I never want any preacher or evangelist to come to this island. Don't want these slaves hearing about any of this Jesus stuff." Well, 2 men in the prayer meeting decided to take action. They sold themselves into slavery. They were sent to this island. Where they would teach the Good News to the slaves there. This wasn't a short mission, or a 2 year project. This was life...as a slave. All for the glory of Christ.

For awhile now, i've been thinking of what I can do. Sometimes I feel so useless; like i'm just taking up space. I know i can be doing more...but what? I would love to work for an organization like TOMS shoes, or World Hunger or Nothing But Nets. I have been browsing Google all day looking for job openings in anything like that. Monster isn't exactly effective when it comes to looking up "anti-hunger and poverty organizations" ha. It could be anything; anti-disease, helping children, fighting hunger, teaching job skills, being a person who cares.

maybe it's just not time yet though. maybe this urge is creating a preparation in my heart so that when the time is right i will have no hesitation.
pray that opportunities will arise or answers will be heard. that I would have a softened open heart.

love love love
"Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world." James 1:27

Now that I'm back...

I'm back in Missouri and it's sort of strange. A lot of things are different than before I left. Yet a lot of things are exactly the same:
what's different?:
1. it's always interesting to see what relationships have formed and/or melted away. 3 of my good friends got married: wendy and nick, kelly and doug and heidi and jake. Some got engaged. Some relationships ended.
2. i'm not in college anymore! It's funny how people now ask me what im' doing with my degree and i say...welp here's the thing, i'm fairly certain i don't want to pursue speech pathology and yes that's what i jsut spent 4 years pursuing, but i feel like i can do more. that i am meant to do more. so now im' just working at a bank and figuring out what that "more" is.
3. my friend sets are changing. i'm growing into the adult phase where my friends are moving and starting new lives and it's just kind of strange. Hard to figure out where i fit now. like looking for a small group, it's kind of difficult b/c i'm not married nor do i have children. however, i'm not in college. oh to be a young adult.
4. my dad's working up in iowa for the next 2 years until he retires so that's been hard on my mom. and my borther is out of the house so she's been on her own a lot.
5. i have a new understanding of where my attention needs to be. what's worth giving my time to and what's not.

what's the same?:
1. eveything. haha i live in the asme apartment with teh same roommate, have the sameburning question 'what do i do with my life' . i know the same people. i still go to La Croix.

One of the biggest things i learned this summer was froma sermon we heard by... i think Louie Gigglio. It was called "Jesus is my homeboy" and it was all about how there are 2 directions that people tend to go. lean towards the homeboy side which is where God is your friend and your buddy and he's so close and awesome. and then the other way is to where God is only God and he is huge and big and powerful and to only be shown grave respect...humor and joy are void. And we need to find some place in the middle where yes He is our friend but He is STILL God and he is to be respected. I think i tend to lean towards the homeboy side. and forget that He is master of me and this world.

I've felt like awarrior lately. Well, atleast i am really striving to live in the mindset of a warrior . with the always pesent recognition that this world that we liv ein is a battlefield. And that it is my calling to fight for the Holy and powerful God who sent His son Jesus Christ to die for us so that we can stand along side Him in victory and bring honor to this good and perfect God.

yeah..a warrior.

disciplined.

I'm reading The Life You've Always Wanted by Ortberg.

The whole book is about spiritual disciplines, what they are and what they are not.
I get caught up a lot in the discipline being the 'practice that gives me points' ... that if I read my Bible every day and pray every day then I'm doing really well and if I don't read and pray every day then I'm not doing really well.

But spiritual disciplines are more than that. They aren't a gage that measures your closeness to God.

Ortberg writes " spiritual disciplines are not about trying to be good enough to merit God's forgiveness and goodwill. They are not ways to get extra credit or to demonstrate to God how deeply we are committed to him. They exist for our sake, not God's."

They are actions that in turn put us in a position to hear the voice of God.

"A disciplined follower of Jesus is someone who discerns when laughter, gentleness, silence, healing words, or prophetic indignation is called for, and offers it promptly, effectively, and lovingly."

Right now, that's is something I need to focus on. There are many around me who are struggling and I need to know what to do. What plan of attack I should take. That right there covers all the bases.

He also talks about joy being a spiritual discipline. And celebration. God is a joyful. Abundantly and overflowingly celebratory. And to live a life in him...we have to find that joy. In every day. In every moment. Good or Bad. Like Daniel says... we have to choose joy.

Putting yourself in positions that make you available to the soft whisper of God is the key to being disciplined follower of Christ.

Retreat Weekend

So, this past weekend I had the awesome chance to go to Rome, GA and meet the team for Brackenhurst this summer.

Friday morning my parents and I hopped into the Yukon and drove 8 hours to get to this beautiful little town.

I must admit.. I was absolutely nervous. And excited. And worried. And anxious. And ready. And not ready.

Yeah...

There are about 24 of us going to Kenya this summer and the majority are from Berry College (which is where Brackenhurst started) so they all know each other.

I get so nervous going places where I know literally no one. I am an introvert to the fullest extent.

Hard Part #1: small talk

...after a while my nerves calmed down and the icebreakers began

That night we went on a scavenger hunt in the pouring rain and darkness for about an hour. And then we did a rock wall exercise.

By the end of the night we were all exhausted. I felt like relationships were really starting to form. You really have to look at the situation differently than a one time camp weekend. Because it's much more than that. I had to consciously tell myself ..."in 2 months I will begin the camp with these people and we will be together...as a family...for 3 months."

Saturday we started sharing stories about where each of us has come from and how far God has brought us. We made Ebenezer's ("God has brought us thus far") out of clay. And then we played cards for awhile. From 2:30-5 we then began the last team building exercise... we were walking on air.

Well..sort of

It was a ropes course in the ceiling of a 40 foot gym.

You climbed up this moving rope ladder. Clipped on to a wire above you and began the 4 steps.

1. walk 20 feet across a wire, there was a rope on each side of you to hold on to. (at this point all I can think is ...this isn't optional... dang it! haha)

2. you unclip your clips above your head and reclip them to the next station(while being 40 feet in the air); then you walk 10 feet on two ropes while you are holding onto one rope. The rope criss cross in the middle so you have to fall forward, grab the two rope and swing your leg up onto the one rope and walk another 10 feet. ooo dang... it's pretty difficult. haha It was funny because I thought I would be freaked out because of how high it was and i didn't want to fall...but really the hard part was just the physical aspect, or lack of haha.

3. unlcip reclip; walk 20 feet across this thin board.

4. unclip reclip; slid across onto a platform. You have a seat belt put around you and then you are pulled forward to clip your harness onto this V-line wire from the ceiling. It's pulling on you (which is why you are buckled in). Your clips are removed and put behind your back and all that was holding me up in the air was the seat belt. Then You are asked to push the buckle on the count of 3 and lean forward...falling 40 feet. YIKES! This was the most difficult part for me. My teammate said it's because I wasn't in control of what was going to happen. True. It may have also been the rational/irrational fear of falling to my death haha. The guy up on the platform with me offered to unbuckle the seat belt so I didn't have to ...and i flew.. what a freakin rush

... needless to say, I felt extremely accomplished.

phew

after that we all passed out for an hour haha

We spent more time eating, talking and hanging out and it was great.

By Sunday I felt that I was a little more in the loop. More a part of the group. Not just Jen and the kids from Berry. But family going to Kenya.

I look forward to the ways the Lord is already working in our team and how over these next couple months apart how he will build bonds.

I think I'm ready for Kenya. I'm still nervous about the 3 months. Not gonna lie.. it's a long time. I absolutely want to go and I am so excited. It's just the distance from my friends and family will be hard without a doubt.

Genesis 12

"Now the Lord said to Abram. Go from your country and your kindred and your father's house to the land that I will show you. And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and him who dishonors you I will curse, and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed"

Matthew 4:19-20
"Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men." Immediately they left their nets and followed him. "

Mark 1:17-18
"And Jesus said to them, "Follow me, and I will make you become fishers of men." And immediately they left their nets and followed."

These disciples left everything, family, friends, jobs, money, stuff, comfort, predictability, food, beds, experiences ... for this new adventure. For the one good and true adventure.
This is where I find comfort. Because I know that Jesus is the only one I need to listen to. And the only one I need to "go" for. And I pray that I can be like the disciples.

They didn't ponder it.. their immediate answer was absolutely Jesus...

I'm truly excited about the trip and I am so ready to find out more about who I am in Christ. Prayers are absolutely appreciated. That's the only way I can do this. Through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Esther

So, there is this King Ahasuerus (for the purposes of this blog we'll call him King A).

Basically Queen Vashti refuses to obey King A's command and he's pretty ticked.

"let the king give her royal position to another who is better than she. So when the decree made by the king is proclaimed thorughout all his kingdom, for it is vast, all women will give honor to their husbands, high and low alike" 1:19-21

"let beautiful young virgins be sought out for the king" 2:2

geez... picky eh?

So, there was this man named Mordecai who was a Jew. He was raising the daughter of his uncle.. her name: Esther (obviously). "When her father and mother died he took her as his own daughter" 2:7

So, Esther was a beautiful young virgin and so she was taken to see King A (man, i really feel like that A subliminally stands for something else.. hmm). However, Mordecai told her not to tell that she was a Jew. 7 girls made it through what you might call 'round one' and they were beautified for a year with oils and spices.

"Esther was winning favor in the eyes of all who saw her...the king loved Esther more than all the women, and she won grace and favor in his sight more than all the virgins, so that he set the royal crown on her head and made her queen instead of Vashti" 2: 15-17

One day Mordecai, Esther's 'father', overheard two man plotting to kill King A. So, he informed Esther. And Esther informed King A.

Because those 2 men were then hanged, Haman was promoted. He was in charge of all the servants. "When Haman saw that Mordecai did not bow down or pay homage to him, Haman was filled with fury...Haman sought to destroy all the Jews" 3:5-6

Hamans motto: Why kill one when you can kill many

So Haman went to King A and told him that some people were not bowing down to the king and that they needed to be taken care of. The king trusted Haman to do the right thing.

Welp, Haman sent out letters to each place with "instructions to destroy, to kill and to annihilate all Jews, young and old, women and children, in one day" 3:13

Esther hears of the letters and is confronted with a dilema. See, "if someone were to go inside the inner court without being called, there is but one law-to be put to death, except the one to whom the king holds out the golden scepter so that he may live. But as for me i have not been called in these thirty days." 4:11

Mordecai calls her out and basically says, one way or another deliverance will come, and maybe you are here for this exact reason. To help us.

Esther commands they fast for 3 days and then she will go to the king.

"If I perish, I perish..." 4:16

I love that... if i perish.. i perish

She's like you know what... bring it on. And if I die at least I went down fighting. Atleast I was on the battlefield at the front lines for what I knew was good and right. And if all that comes out of that is that I die.. then so be it. Glory to God.

King A. held out the golden scpetor to Esther. (you were nervous weren't you)

She invited the king to a feast. the king is like what is your wish? and she's like come to dinner tomorrow and i will tell you.

So, Haman went home bragging to his friends and family about how awesome he is because he got invited to dinner today and tomorrow. But he still wasn't happy...he wanted Mordecai hanged.

this is the funniest part: King A is at home in bed getting his bedtime story read to him and all of a sudden he realizes that no honor had been bestowed upon Mordecai for reporting awhile ago how those 2 men were going to kill King A.

so Haman is coming in to tell the King that he should hang Mordecai while the king is thinking of ways to honor Mordecai. The King asks how he should honor 'someone' and Mordecai replies with wealth and grandeur ...all to find out that the king was referring to Mordecai. HAHAH in yo' face! Haman goes home crying

At the feast that night, Esther tells the king of Haman's plan to destroy the Jews, her people.

Haman is hanged

And Esther requests that the order to destroy be revoked.

"the Jews had light and gladness and joy and honor" 8:16

now, on the day that the enemies were supposed to destroy the Jews...the opposite happened and the Jews were victorious.

I love this story
Do you ever feel like you don't know what to do but that you have to do something to help a situation? There is a situation in my friends life right now where i am torn between telling her that all she is doing is great (which would be a lie) or hurting her (because a lot of the time we hate hearing the truth).
...In situations like this i think it's so important that we step back and look at who we are loyal to.
My priority is not to keep my friends. Yes, that would be ideal. But when it domes down to it, my loyalty is to Christ's kingdom. Trusting in His guidance will lead us to a place where Esther was.

...she was the only one who could of done something. By this I mean that she is the only one who wouldn't of gotten killed by going to see the King, and the only one who could of created a situation where the King and Haman ate together. And the only person who had inside information from Mordecai.

Yes, God's plan is so much bigger than we are...and yes, if Esther was like "heck no, I'm not going to say anything...i'm going to act like nothing is happening" then God's plan still would of taken place. He would of found someone else to do what needed to get done.

He's God afterall...haha

But Esther listened and knew that she was the only one who could make it turn out with victory for the Jews.

If I perish ...I perish

Lately, I've been trying to keep that in the forefront of my mind...because what matters is that i'm fighting and on the front lines

Like Brett Cheek always says ...Father, if you're not here, then it's not worth it.

that's the epitome behind a life of Christ. That's it ..right there.