glimpse...

also, my pics can be found at http://s908.photobucket.com/albums/ac285/jlschenk1013/

enter in the guest code : jenya17

enjoy

longer school?

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/09/28/obamas-extended-school-year-dire-economic-effects-critics-claim/?test=latestnews
So basically Obama is suggesting that we make school years longer and summer vacations shorter. When i was reading this article are obvious things I agree with. Like the fact that other nations score much higher on their exams than Americans. In general, Americans are not always the most intelligent people.

However, I am not totally convinced that it's the school system that needs adjustment. I mean, yes there are teachers who could care less about their students actual knowledge, they are just going day by day getting paid for something they used to enjoy doing. And some just make it hard on the kids in the classroom, instead of encouraging knowledge and help they flunk kids who they don't like and try to be as unavailable as possible. but that's more about the teachers than it is about the courses.

I mean, I wonder if that did happen if it would actually improve scores? And why do we need test scores to prove anything? I know plenty of people who are brilliant but yet tests get the best of them. More time in the classroom might actually make some kids go crazy. Dealing with apathetic teachers...especially ones who might be working longer and having less vacation.

I think the problems come in on the home front as well. Parents today generally have very little control over what their children do. Kids come home and they play with friends and play video games. They don't work until they are about 18-20. They get their meals made for them. They get everything they want dropped into their lap as a sort of incentive to do better. They are encouraged to play outside but it's not enforced. I think that there is a strong lack of discipline in the home. That parents would rather have happy, obese, unintelligent, non-complaining children than deal with the actual effects of being a strong parent. but then in the end....are their kids really happy? when they find out that at the age of 15 they have early-onset diabetes? when they can't get a job when they turn 18 because they didn't spend enough time learning how to speak English properly? When the world starts holding things back and they are so utterly confused as to why they aren't getting what they want? Homes are filled with empty threats.

Kids lack respect for their parents. Because their parents aren't creating an environment where respect is necessary.

And then there is always the argument that media has something to do with it. Which i think it does. When kids watch their favorite singer or performer on TV and the girls are dressed in clothing that barely (or worse than barely) covers their breasts and their butt. Or men who are running around in chains and baggy clothes, talking like a sailor and degrading women every chance they can. Yeah, great examples. Because the world loves fame and they love attention. and when kids see their 'idols' on TV they want what the world wants and that is to be just like them.

So, in a way i can understand the whole longer school days thing because that's what you can change. You can force that to change. You can't force parents to start being parents. However, I think it would still take action on both sides to produce any sort of positive result.

man, I'm so glad to be done with school ha ha

Urge?

This past weekend Ron told this story about this prayer meeting in the 1700s. This went on for 100 years! In the 12th year they were praying for this situation where this man had shipped something like 8000 African slaves to his island. He made a statement to the effect of "I never want any preacher or evangelist to come to this island. Don't want these slaves hearing about any of this Jesus stuff." Well, 2 men in the prayer meeting decided to take action. They sold themselves into slavery. They were sent to this island. Where they would teach the Good News to the slaves there. This wasn't a short mission, or a 2 year project. This was life...as a slave. All for the glory of Christ.

For awhile now, i've been thinking of what I can do. Sometimes I feel so useless; like i'm just taking up space. I know i can be doing more...but what? I would love to work for an organization like TOMS shoes, or World Hunger or Nothing But Nets. I have been browsing Google all day looking for job openings in anything like that. Monster isn't exactly effective when it comes to looking up "anti-hunger and poverty organizations" ha. It could be anything; anti-disease, helping children, fighting hunger, teaching job skills, being a person who cares.

maybe it's just not time yet though. maybe this urge is creating a preparation in my heart so that when the time is right i will have no hesitation.
pray that opportunities will arise or answers will be heard. that I would have a softened open heart.

love love love
"Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world." James 1:27

Now that I'm back...

I'm back in Missouri and it's sort of strange. A lot of things are different than before I left. Yet a lot of things are exactly the same:
what's different?:
1. it's always interesting to see what relationships have formed and/or melted away. 3 of my good friends got married: wendy and nick, kelly and doug and heidi and jake. Some got engaged. Some relationships ended.
2. i'm not in college anymore! It's funny how people now ask me what im' doing with my degree and i say...welp here's the thing, i'm fairly certain i don't want to pursue speech pathology and yes that's what i jsut spent 4 years pursuing, but i feel like i can do more. that i am meant to do more. so now im' just working at a bank and figuring out what that "more" is.
3. my friend sets are changing. i'm growing into the adult phase where my friends are moving and starting new lives and it's just kind of strange. Hard to figure out where i fit now. like looking for a small group, it's kind of difficult b/c i'm not married nor do i have children. however, i'm not in college. oh to be a young adult.
4. my dad's working up in iowa for the next 2 years until he retires so that's been hard on my mom. and my borther is out of the house so she's been on her own a lot.
5. i have a new understanding of where my attention needs to be. what's worth giving my time to and what's not.

what's the same?:
1. eveything. haha i live in the asme apartment with teh same roommate, have the sameburning question 'what do i do with my life' . i know the same people. i still go to La Croix.

One of the biggest things i learned this summer was froma sermon we heard by... i think Louie Gigglio. It was called "Jesus is my homeboy" and it was all about how there are 2 directions that people tend to go. lean towards the homeboy side which is where God is your friend and your buddy and he's so close and awesome. and then the other way is to where God is only God and he is huge and big and powerful and to only be shown grave respect...humor and joy are void. And we need to find some place in the middle where yes He is our friend but He is STILL God and he is to be respected. I think i tend to lean towards the homeboy side. and forget that He is master of me and this world.

I've felt like awarrior lately. Well, atleast i am really striving to live in the mindset of a warrior . with the always pesent recognition that this world that we liv ein is a battlefield. And that it is my calling to fight for the Holy and powerful God who sent His son Jesus Christ to die for us so that we can stand along side Him in victory and bring honor to this good and perfect God.

yeah..a warrior.

disciplined.

I'm reading The Life You've Always Wanted by Ortberg.

The whole book is about spiritual disciplines, what they are and what they are not.
I get caught up a lot in the discipline being the 'practice that gives me points' ... that if I read my Bible every day and pray every day then I'm doing really well and if I don't read and pray every day then I'm not doing really well.

But spiritual disciplines are more than that. They aren't a gage that measures your closeness to God.

Ortberg writes " spiritual disciplines are not about trying to be good enough to merit God's forgiveness and goodwill. They are not ways to get extra credit or to demonstrate to God how deeply we are committed to him. They exist for our sake, not God's."

They are actions that in turn put us in a position to hear the voice of God.

"A disciplined follower of Jesus is someone who discerns when laughter, gentleness, silence, healing words, or prophetic indignation is called for, and offers it promptly, effectively, and lovingly."

Right now, that's is something I need to focus on. There are many around me who are struggling and I need to know what to do. What plan of attack I should take. That right there covers all the bases.

He also talks about joy being a spiritual discipline. And celebration. God is a joyful. Abundantly and overflowingly celebratory. And to live a life in him...we have to find that joy. In every day. In every moment. Good or Bad. Like Daniel says... we have to choose joy.

Putting yourself in positions that make you available to the soft whisper of God is the key to being disciplined follower of Christ.

Retreat Weekend

So, this past weekend I had the awesome chance to go to Rome, GA and meet the team for Brackenhurst this summer.

Friday morning my parents and I hopped into the Yukon and drove 8 hours to get to this beautiful little town.

I must admit.. I was absolutely nervous. And excited. And worried. And anxious. And ready. And not ready.

Yeah...

There are about 24 of us going to Kenya this summer and the majority are from Berry College (which is where Brackenhurst started) so they all know each other.

I get so nervous going places where I know literally no one. I am an introvert to the fullest extent.

Hard Part #1: small talk

...after a while my nerves calmed down and the icebreakers began

That night we went on a scavenger hunt in the pouring rain and darkness for about an hour. And then we did a rock wall exercise.

By the end of the night we were all exhausted. I felt like relationships were really starting to form. You really have to look at the situation differently than a one time camp weekend. Because it's much more than that. I had to consciously tell myself ..."in 2 months I will begin the camp with these people and we will be together...as a family...for 3 months."

Saturday we started sharing stories about where each of us has come from and how far God has brought us. We made Ebenezer's ("God has brought us thus far") out of clay. And then we played cards for awhile. From 2:30-5 we then began the last team building exercise... we were walking on air.

Well..sort of

It was a ropes course in the ceiling of a 40 foot gym.

You climbed up this moving rope ladder. Clipped on to a wire above you and began the 4 steps.

1. walk 20 feet across a wire, there was a rope on each side of you to hold on to. (at this point all I can think is ...this isn't optional... dang it! haha)

2. you unclip your clips above your head and reclip them to the next station(while being 40 feet in the air); then you walk 10 feet on two ropes while you are holding onto one rope. The rope criss cross in the middle so you have to fall forward, grab the two rope and swing your leg up onto the one rope and walk another 10 feet. ooo dang... it's pretty difficult. haha It was funny because I thought I would be freaked out because of how high it was and i didn't want to fall...but really the hard part was just the physical aspect, or lack of haha.

3. unlcip reclip; walk 20 feet across this thin board.

4. unclip reclip; slid across onto a platform. You have a seat belt put around you and then you are pulled forward to clip your harness onto this V-line wire from the ceiling. It's pulling on you (which is why you are buckled in). Your clips are removed and put behind your back and all that was holding me up in the air was the seat belt. Then You are asked to push the buckle on the count of 3 and lean forward...falling 40 feet. YIKES! This was the most difficult part for me. My teammate said it's because I wasn't in control of what was going to happen. True. It may have also been the rational/irrational fear of falling to my death haha. The guy up on the platform with me offered to unbuckle the seat belt so I didn't have to ...and i flew.. what a freakin rush

... needless to say, I felt extremely accomplished.

phew

after that we all passed out for an hour haha

We spent more time eating, talking and hanging out and it was great.

By Sunday I felt that I was a little more in the loop. More a part of the group. Not just Jen and the kids from Berry. But family going to Kenya.

I look forward to the ways the Lord is already working in our team and how over these next couple months apart how he will build bonds.

I think I'm ready for Kenya. I'm still nervous about the 3 months. Not gonna lie.. it's a long time. I absolutely want to go and I am so excited. It's just the distance from my friends and family will be hard without a doubt.

Genesis 12

"Now the Lord said to Abram. Go from your country and your kindred and your father's house to the land that I will show you. And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and him who dishonors you I will curse, and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed"

Matthew 4:19-20
"Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men." Immediately they left their nets and followed him. "

Mark 1:17-18
"And Jesus said to them, "Follow me, and I will make you become fishers of men." And immediately they left their nets and followed."

These disciples left everything, family, friends, jobs, money, stuff, comfort, predictability, food, beds, experiences ... for this new adventure. For the one good and true adventure.
This is where I find comfort. Because I know that Jesus is the only one I need to listen to. And the only one I need to "go" for. And I pray that I can be like the disciples.

They didn't ponder it.. their immediate answer was absolutely Jesus...

I'm truly excited about the trip and I am so ready to find out more about who I am in Christ. Prayers are absolutely appreciated. That's the only way I can do this. Through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Esther

So, there is this King Ahasuerus (for the purposes of this blog we'll call him King A).

Basically Queen Vashti refuses to obey King A's command and he's pretty ticked.

"let the king give her royal position to another who is better than she. So when the decree made by the king is proclaimed thorughout all his kingdom, for it is vast, all women will give honor to their husbands, high and low alike" 1:19-21

"let beautiful young virgins be sought out for the king" 2:2

geez... picky eh?

So, there was this man named Mordecai who was a Jew. He was raising the daughter of his uncle.. her name: Esther (obviously). "When her father and mother died he took her as his own daughter" 2:7

So, Esther was a beautiful young virgin and so she was taken to see King A (man, i really feel like that A subliminally stands for something else.. hmm). However, Mordecai told her not to tell that she was a Jew. 7 girls made it through what you might call 'round one' and they were beautified for a year with oils and spices.

"Esther was winning favor in the eyes of all who saw her...the king loved Esther more than all the women, and she won grace and favor in his sight more than all the virgins, so that he set the royal crown on her head and made her queen instead of Vashti" 2: 15-17

One day Mordecai, Esther's 'father', overheard two man plotting to kill King A. So, he informed Esther. And Esther informed King A.

Because those 2 men were then hanged, Haman was promoted. He was in charge of all the servants. "When Haman saw that Mordecai did not bow down or pay homage to him, Haman was filled with fury...Haman sought to destroy all the Jews" 3:5-6

Hamans motto: Why kill one when you can kill many

So Haman went to King A and told him that some people were not bowing down to the king and that they needed to be taken care of. The king trusted Haman to do the right thing.

Welp, Haman sent out letters to each place with "instructions to destroy, to kill and to annihilate all Jews, young and old, women and children, in one day" 3:13

Esther hears of the letters and is confronted with a dilema. See, "if someone were to go inside the inner court without being called, there is but one law-to be put to death, except the one to whom the king holds out the golden scepter so that he may live. But as for me i have not been called in these thirty days." 4:11

Mordecai calls her out and basically says, one way or another deliverance will come, and maybe you are here for this exact reason. To help us.

Esther commands they fast for 3 days and then she will go to the king.

"If I perish, I perish..." 4:16

I love that... if i perish.. i perish

She's like you know what... bring it on. And if I die at least I went down fighting. Atleast I was on the battlefield at the front lines for what I knew was good and right. And if all that comes out of that is that I die.. then so be it. Glory to God.

King A. held out the golden scpetor to Esther. (you were nervous weren't you)

She invited the king to a feast. the king is like what is your wish? and she's like come to dinner tomorrow and i will tell you.

So, Haman went home bragging to his friends and family about how awesome he is because he got invited to dinner today and tomorrow. But he still wasn't happy...he wanted Mordecai hanged.

this is the funniest part: King A is at home in bed getting his bedtime story read to him and all of a sudden he realizes that no honor had been bestowed upon Mordecai for reporting awhile ago how those 2 men were going to kill King A.

so Haman is coming in to tell the King that he should hang Mordecai while the king is thinking of ways to honor Mordecai. The King asks how he should honor 'someone' and Mordecai replies with wealth and grandeur ...all to find out that the king was referring to Mordecai. HAHAH in yo' face! Haman goes home crying

At the feast that night, Esther tells the king of Haman's plan to destroy the Jews, her people.

Haman is hanged

And Esther requests that the order to destroy be revoked.

"the Jews had light and gladness and joy and honor" 8:16

now, on the day that the enemies were supposed to destroy the Jews...the opposite happened and the Jews were victorious.

I love this story
Do you ever feel like you don't know what to do but that you have to do something to help a situation? There is a situation in my friends life right now where i am torn between telling her that all she is doing is great (which would be a lie) or hurting her (because a lot of the time we hate hearing the truth).
...In situations like this i think it's so important that we step back and look at who we are loyal to.
My priority is not to keep my friends. Yes, that would be ideal. But when it domes down to it, my loyalty is to Christ's kingdom. Trusting in His guidance will lead us to a place where Esther was.

...she was the only one who could of done something. By this I mean that she is the only one who wouldn't of gotten killed by going to see the King, and the only one who could of created a situation where the King and Haman ate together. And the only person who had inside information from Mordecai.

Yes, God's plan is so much bigger than we are...and yes, if Esther was like "heck no, I'm not going to say anything...i'm going to act like nothing is happening" then God's plan still would of taken place. He would of found someone else to do what needed to get done.

He's God afterall...haha

But Esther listened and knew that she was the only one who could make it turn out with victory for the Jews.

If I perish ...I perish

Lately, I've been trying to keep that in the forefront of my mind...because what matters is that i'm fighting and on the front lines

Like Brett Cheek always says ...Father, if you're not here, then it's not worth it.

that's the epitome behind a life of Christ. That's it ..right there.

Runaway

I used to hear stories about kids who ran away and I have always thought that was so strange. Why would you want to runaway from your mom and dad? A house? Free food?

And only once in my life have i ever threatened to actually leap onto that train.

I remember being so mad with my family... but I have no clue why.

that's how it is when your a teenager.

As an adult, I understand running away so much more. There are 2 types of running away: 1) the kind that is a physical leaving of your home b/c you are not safe. 2) running from your life in search of something more



I'm talking about the latter.



If I could drop all this school and work stuff right this instant ...i would.

I would leave it all behind.

Last night, my roomie and I were talking about this.

How we know that there is something much bigger that we could be doing. She brought up an interesting point..

Jesus did so much in 3 years and what have I done?

I mean, He was Jesus after all... it wouldn't of made sense for Him to not have done a lot. God didnt' raise no fool...

I don't want to be behind a desk. And I don't want to live my life studying and wishing I was doing something more. I mean, yes, school and academics are important...but they aren't for everyone. And no, I dont' want to live in a cardboard box and ask the government for money. And I absolutely know the value of a dollar. And that it's important for people to work hard. Work was created by God. Work is good.

'The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it'- Genesis 2:15

I don't have a problem with working. But it's the kind of work. Yes, Speech Pathologists do amazing work and help so many people and their skills and passion for what they do is something to be admired. However, I don't think I have the passion.

I want to go and serve. I want to work and then serve and go and then work and save money and then go and serve.


Knowing the state of the world, and i'm sure that my knowledge is only touching the surface...how can i do anything but serve and take care of the poor orphans and widows?

When I was little there were 3 things i wanted to be when i "grew-up"
1) Tennis Player; my dad taught me how to play and even at the age of 58 he is still kicking my butt
2) Pit-crew worker; yes...Nascar; how exciting would it be to have cars coming in and having some freakishly impossible time to change tires and inspect their car
3) singer; i love to sing. Especially this past year it has become one of the main ways i feel connected to God. Just an angel in His choir. I'm teaching guitar... so one day I can walk around the world singing songs about Jesus and all the indescribable things He has done

Who knows where I'll be after this summer...
but I know that I'm ready for something new, for an adventure, for actually feeling like i'm living and not just stagnant (haha...can a person be stagnant? i guess so... )

Praise God for His wonderful works. He'll get me to where He wants me...

Numbers

I found myself at Bread Co this morning. I was supposed to have a meeting, but the person I was meeting with had to cancel. So, I decided to stick around anyway. I have never been one of those people who just goes to a place like Bread Co. and reads or does homework. But I was already there so I ordered.

1 Cinnamon Crunch Bagel...in the bread slicer
1 honey walnut cream cheese spread
1 small Pepsi

This morning I read started reading Numbers. The first couple chapters are pretty much census numbers.
"So all those listed of the people of Israel, twelve men, each representing people of Israel, by their fathers' houses, from twenty years old and upward, very man able to go to war in Israel- all those listed were 603,550." Numbers 1:45-46

603,550 people! holy cow. So then I started thinking ...how did they get these numbers? I mean there wasn't like electronic mailing and by the time they got all the people, new ones would be born. Although, perhaps that's why they only counted those over 20 years of age. But you would still have people going from 19 to 20. Hmmm... interesting. Obviously these numbers are all a rough estimate because they are all multiples of 50.

I'm one of those people who can look at a crowd of 300 people and if someone asked me how many people were there i would say 50. I have no eye for numbers like that. Even food. I always get a plate of food and think , man this is not going to be enough to fill me up. Half way through the meal I end up waving the white flag and staring at a plate that is not even close to being empty.

Welp, after reading through all of that I don't know how they got those numbers, I just think it's funny how insanely huge the numbers are.

And i found out that I really enjoy that whole eat bfast at a cafe while reading thing.

it was quite peaceful...

Friday night

tonight is possibly the last relaxing friday night i will have for awhile.

so
1. chinese food
2. movies like: dodgeball, pride and prejudice and of course The Office
3. jammies
4. giant soda
5. slippers
6. new fingernail polish
7. chocolate in some form or fashion... cake not candy

this is going to be a great evening :)

it's weird how your friday nights change as you get older
birth-pretty much 9: in bed by 8:00 or 9:00
10-15: year of the sleepovers, it's possibly the coolest thing EVER!; curfew is 10
16-18: late nights, no curfew, hanging with friends causing trouble in various forms, and of course date nights
19-22: well these are the prime years of independence
23-27: finding love, settling down, having kidos
28-50: no late nights, getting all the sleep you can get, in bed around 10 or for some 9
50-ageless: 8:00 bedtime, just like the beginning, falling asleep while reading

of course this varies dramatically depending on who you are.

... i have no clue as to why i felt like sharing this ... but i guess maybe it's a reassuring that in the end there will be peace and sleep and comfort growing old.

random thought: my grandma said this the other day when my dad couldn't stop laughing hysterically..."somebody must of tipped over his te-he box"

...yeah, you should totally pocket that quote, feel free to use it any time

old people are so cute *sigh*

enjoy your friday!

I will

I'm sitting at work watching the Inauguration

Everyone who is anyone is there...

military service men and women

... a second ago the cameras focused in on the bodyguards

Which made me think about an interesting fact that Ron brought up this weekend. He said that in order to be a bodyguard for the President of the United States, you can not be married.
I've never thought about that before. The logic here, is that if you are married you might second guess your decision to protect the President. You might think, "should I do this? What will happen to my wife... my kids"? There isn't anything wrong with these questions. But a bullet doesn't slow down for thought-processing. And that split second can mean life or death.

And so I got to thinking.

In order to live fully for Christ we can't be married.

I guess what I mean is that, Christ deserves our all. Every single ounce of what we can give. And that is a hard thing to do when we have things we are married to. Now, it doesn't have to be a literal marriage with all the vows and white. But anything that we give our heart to. For instance, some people are married to their job. Their job becomes what they devote their time and energy to, and then at the end of the day, if there is any time to spare, they may spend some time hanging with Jesus.

Or how about being married to academics. Some of us can spend 97% of our time studying and memorizing formulas ... equation upon equation until we can't cram anything else into our little brains. And then when it comes to studying scripture, we don't have time.

I think, sometimes, I am married to obligation. A life of doing. I serve and serve and serve. Worship team, elevation, ignite, programming, random stuff. I am an "I will" gal. And when I start doing all of these things and having task upon task I lose sight of why I'm doing it. I lose sight of why I said "I will" in the first place. It becomes some duty I need to fulfill.

A few years ago, I was at youth group as a small group leader. After the service ended I was told about a girl in one of the groups. The group had been asked, "If Jesus came back today and asked you to drop everything and follow him, would you?"

Her answer, "No. I don't think I could leave my boyfriend"

The question was later tagged with something to the effect of "What is the worst thing about Hell"

Her answer, "no shoes"

It saddens my heart to even write that. I still know this girl. And even though she puts on a good face and attends church when she's home...she hasn't changed. It's still about the world. She's entered into a marriage with stuff. She has a boyfriend who she communicates with by using a large amount foul words coated with no respect.

.... I don't ever want to be that.

I don't ever want to get to a point where I would say 'I won't' to Jesus, because I like convenience and comfort and stuff and a boy. Because I married myself to obligation and plans. I want the reason I say 'I will' to always be a verbal affirmation of my devotion to follow Christ. To follow His plan...whatever that entails.

I want the reason that I say "I will" to be because I am married to Christ alone. Because nothing is greater than His love for His people. Absolutely nothing.

Back to the bodyguards. They understand the core of devotion. What it truely means. And that devotion isn't just about saying 'i will', but living a life that exemplifies that statement. It starts with wanting it, but somewhere along the way we have to actually live it. We have to live the 'I will".

Roomie

I have had this blog going for about a month now, and apparently yesterday was the first time i told my roomie about it.

"What! you have a blog? Since when?" ... i guess i need to be better about keeping her up to date

anyway, she is the best!
( note: in now way am i writing this because of her accusation that i probably hadn't written one about her yet... moo haha)

1. She is fanatical about The Office, just like i am :) We pretty much speak in Office quotes as much as possible
"I'll be back.... I am back!!!!"
"I like ice cream, i need a boyfriend! Dingo babies"
"I hate so much about the way you chose to be"
...ok, i could go on for days

2. She is an English major. For my birthday last year she offered to write a book report for me. I accepted because it would be just plain rude to reject a birthday gift... and i assumed since i hadn't read the book yet and she had read it multiple times AND since she is an English major, that she would ace this..

...wrong. 75%

Apparently she wanted to make it seem like i had written and not someone of greater intelligence... the first paragraph read something like "I like this book. The characters were neato. The cover was colorful." Ok, slight exaggeration, but not by a lot. I continue to give her a hard time to this day, just because it was so ridiculous hahah

3. She's always there for me. how great is that? I mean, we say a lot of times that we have each others back but how often do people really mean it? This girl would stand up for me any day ...

4. Naps. She naps a lot... and it's awesome because it's like she has fallen into a deep coma.

5. She's engaged... so no boyfriend drama there. Her relationship with her fiance is one to be admired. They are going to be so happy together and be completely blessed by God.

6. fast food.... she joins in my belief that there isn't any shame in eating fast food. And 32's!

7. girl works at Starbucks. She always brings back wonderful surprises ...chai tea, hot chocolate, strange raspberry lemonade

...now that i have written enough information for someone to stalk her...

She's the bomb diggity

I hope everyone has a roomie this great and if you don't hten you should find one

.do it . now. 5. 4. 3. do it now, now 4. 3. now ....

Mineral Water

this morning i have been reading..

God's word

One.org website: HIV/AIDs, hunger, malaria, sanitation, education...

Living Water website

and about to start The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne


Millenium Development Goals (MDG's):
"The Millennium Development Goals (MDGs) are eight goals to be achieved by 2015 that respond to the world's main development challenges. The MDGs are drawn from the actions and targets contained in the Millennium Declaration that was adopted by 189 nations-and signed by 147 heads of state and governments during the UN Millennium Summit in September 2000. " http://www.undp.org/mdg/

There are 8 goals:




When i read things like this...
i realize how awful i can be.
how i 'just forget'... about poverty?!

there are millions of problems in this world. At the core..we find problems with character.

One thing i can't stand is celebrity worship; or celebrities who think they should be worshipped. Or think they have in any way earned the right to be. It sickens me ...the thought of million dollar homes for one single person. An abundance of food, Multiple bathrooms, bedrooms, pools, televisions, cars, computers, video games, trophies, awards, clothes, shoes, purses, makeup, stylists, cooks, maids, babysitters, marble flooring, sunroofs, crystal vases, jewelry covered in so many diamonds that a person might actually get confused and think they found a giant glittering snow creature.

...it makes me sick.
and even though i don't have all of those things...i still have more than i need. an abundance of 'stuff'

... and in the end, what does that stuff do?

nothing

it shows where we spent our time, money and efforts. It shows our character.



"The United Nations Development Programme estimates the cost of meeting the MDG to be about $10 billion a year.” Again, that is for water and sanitation for half of those lacking. They add that the figure “…represents less than five days’ worth of global military spending and less than half what rich countries spend each year on mineral water.”
http://v2.water.cc/water-crisis/related-news/

...so what's the problem? How in the world could there be any question about our ability to end poverty? "LESS THAN HALF WHAT RICH COUNTRIES SPEND EACH YEAR ON MINERAL WATER"!!!!

...we're a rich country. and mineral water...are you kidding me. While we (Americans) sit here on our butts drinking Fiji water ... millions of people are dying because they have NO water.

I watched the Red Carpet Awards the other night and Miley Cyrus was standing ther drinking this huge bottle of Fiji water.
hope Miley enjoyed it.

Or how about this... There are over 6 billion people in the world. If every person gave a dollar that would be 6 billion dollars. And we know that a large percent of those people could give more than a dollar. I'm sure P Diddy, Sean John Combs, Puff Daddy, whatever the heck his stinking name is has more than a dollar to spare. I'm guessing that his abundance of sunglasses (sidenote: which drive me insane because he always wears them inside...ugh, ego check) aren't from Wal-Mart.

..here's the deal
i don't know how to stop poverty and fight malaria and keep all bad things from ceasing.

this is me venting, raising awareness and sharing part of my passion.

Proverbs 21:13
"If a man shuts his ears to the cry of the poor, he too will cry out and not be answered."

you've never heard of spice girls?

So, i'm 22 years old.

typing it doesn't make me feel old, neither does saying it. However, this weekend I realized i'm at an age where i have started to use phrases like "old school" and "wow, that's definitely my generation" or the classic "you've never heard of spice girls?"

It's strange, getting older. Having to make decisions. Or at least finally getting to make decisions based on what i want to do.

High school wasn't optional
Neither was College; i mean it is...but not really
Graduating from college is helpful, too

So, this May i will be graduating with a bachelors in Communication Disorders: Speech-Language Pathology.

what now?

Well, so far i have these options:
1. go to grad school...but where?
2. work... but then i will no longer have any financial support from my parents (sounds silly but w/e)
3. go to seminary?..my mom's idea; who knows i havent' really given much thought to that since i was younger.

Over the last couple months i have felt the need to do more. I feel like i haven't been reaching out as much as I could to people in need; in need of food, water, medicine, prayer, spiritual renewal, a friend, accountability, money, encouragement. I want to do all of this.

I hate money...soooo much. Because honestly, when it comes down to it. That is what is keeping me from being able to make decisions about life. If i don't go straight into school...i'm on my own. i have very little savings. I have a part-time job. I have an apartment and bills that need to get paid. And I still have to eat. Ugh. i know this is a common cry.

How about bartering? I'll give you one goat for a semester in school... okay, 2 goats.

And part of me wants to take some time off. i've never enjoyed school. it always seemed like it was less about teaching and more about awful teachers hating their jobs so much that they make you miserable with an overwhleming amount of homework and a ridiculous grading scale; all the while the school is sucking every last penny it can from you..because you dont' pay enough already for these ridiculous classes.

I want to run around the world singing songs about Jesus. I want to be a soldier on the battelfield. Work a little here and there. Barter some if possible.

gosh...

i guess i'll figure it out soon. May is just around the corner. God will guide me. i just have to be patient.

If all else fails i could always move to Vegas and be a Spice Girl impersonator...

"college kids"

The age old question:

What do college kids need to hear?
What do high school kids need to hear?

This question drives me nuts in a way; for multiple reasons:
1. When I was in high school, i wasn't the 'typical kid', so what I needed to hear wasn't what others needed to hear.
2. I have no absolute answer... but i think that's because there is no absolute answer.
3. I tend to feel that college kids vary more than high school kids. There are no longer 'clicks'; but there is more individuality.

So, this post is me brainstorming in the form of type; in an attempt to see if I (or maybe you) can come up with something

As I have been thinking about this question I have had a strange draw to the word 'desire'

Again, this may just be what I'm struggling with.

Maybe college kids need to feel like this God we talk about...that He desires them. God desires me. He wants my heart. He wants me to give my life to Him.

I'm single. The last couple years have been an insane rollercoaster ride as far as my heart goes. It was given away to someone other than God. And even though I kept telling myself that I was still in good grace with God, I was kidding myself.

Well, lately I have just wanted to be desired again.

i guess that I desire to be desired.. doesn't everyone?

I missed having someone hold my hand, or stay up till 1 in the morning on the phone, or having someone bring me icecream when I'm sick.

...but i'm desiring the wrong thing. I'm sitting here wanting to be desired; and God's sitting there saying 'hey, i love you! can't you see that? i'm always going to be here for you and if you trust in me i will bless your life. wake up jen! i'm right here!'

Gosh... i'm so dense sometimes.

I think that's something college kids (if not everyone) needs to hear.

Hmm... that's all i have for now.

If you have thoughts. feel free to share.

I love this:
'Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings, from the wicked who do me violence, my deadly enemies who surround me.'-Pslam 17:8-9

What's my one thing?

Ron's Message: Simplicity (1/4/09); Psalm 27, Matthew 5:8 & Hebrews 12:1-3

This past weekend Ron spoke about simplicity. How having a pure heart is a heart that is given completely to God.

"One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the dayts of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple."-Psalm 27:4

One of my favorite worship songs is 'Better is One Day'
Better is one day in your courts
Better is one day in your house
Better is one day in your courts
Than thousands elsewhere

I forget that. I get caught up in the world. The worlds' desires. One single day in the presence of God is better than anything else we can imagine. It's crazy to even question that. The creator of the universe, made all of the things we fill our life with. He created all the people who interest us. And we are made in His image. So... how could He be anything but 'better'?

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."- Hebrews 12:1-3

How could there be anything but better.

We can't live holding onto all the things that we feel ashamed about. Forgiveness is offered...why wouldn't we accept it? It's such fickle thing. Is it pride? That we want to feel ashamed about our sins, as sort of a punishment to ourselves. We don't need to, that's what Jesus did. He saved us from our sins. Living with that shame is not what we are called to do. That's not the race we are to run. Run to Jesus.

Living in simplicity is what we are called to do. Simplicity is a 'wholehearted love for God.'

Ron spoke about how we have all of these 'priorities'

And we do..

Everything we do is based off of what is most important to us. That's a harsh reality. Do I choose to sleep in an extra 30 minutes or do I get up and start my day reading God's word? Do I spend a couple hours watching a movie with my friends, or spend that couple of hours talking about our souls?

... I'm not saying a movie is a bad thing, or that sleeping in is a bad thing. But if those things trump Jesus... we need to check our hearts.

Are we desiring Christ as much as He desires us?

There were 3 definitions:
simple faith: God said it, I believe it, that settles it.
simple hope: God promised it. so even if it looks like He's not delivering, I'll wait on it.
simple love: God commands it; I obey.

I want to be identified as a devoted follower of Christ. I want that to be my one thing. Not my ability to quote the Office in any situation, or my crazy shoes, or that i am a 'nice girl'.

I want to be someone who strives after God with such aggressiveness that there is never a question of my intentions or motives. That I would give up every single thing I have for the glory of Christ.

"Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday."- Psalm 37: 5-6

God is good. All the time.

Simplicity.

Go..

About 2 months ago my friend Craig told be about this ministry called Brackenhurst. It's a ministry that works with missionary kids. It runs year round; but during the summer they have camps for all of these kids.

I did some research and talked to Craig about his experiences; i decided to apply.

3 weeks ago I had my interview and was officialy accepted as staff for their summer camp. This is a 10 week program (May23-Aug.1). 5 Weeks of camp, 3 weeks of working in villages, 1 week of training and 1 week of sight-seeing. Brackenhurst is so unique, because it is the only ministry that works with missionary kids. And it gives staff the opportunity to serve in a variety of ways. The camp consists of sports, games, rock climbing, rafting, bible studies, and worship. The coolest part is that these kids are not all Christians. Kenya has a large amount of missionaries but some are Hindu or Buddhist. Their parents know that this is a Christian summer camp, but they send them to Brackenhurst anyway because it is the only safe place for them to be. How cool is that?!

Well, I have started getting ready for camp. The biggest part of preparing for camp is the letter campaign. Basically, I work a minimum wage part-time job and I definitely do not make enough to get to Kenya all on my own. It's a strange feeling. Knowing that I will be asking people to support me financially. It's not something I have done before. I mean, I will be asking for support by whatever means: financially, prayer (always), verbal encouragement, whatever. I have to start writing this letter to send to family, friends, and my large church family.

Prayers... that's what I need now

that i would know the right words to say.

I know God has prepared my list of people for me. But also, that he gives them discernment when they recieve my letter...prayer for that.

As I wrote my list of people; I realized how absolutely fortunate I am to have such a huge family in Christ. What a wonderful blessing.

For me, this summer is an amazing opportunity to serve. I will get to be the hands of feet of Christ. This will be a chance to find out who Jen really is. For 22 years, I have lived in Cape (basically), gone to class, worked, participated at church, served...but over the last 6 months I have felt like I'm living in this little bubble. I think that's because my identity in Christ has blossomed.

I've always lived trying to please, and be the good person, and do the 'right thing'. And not that those are bad things, but they start to form a thick layer over you... and it becomes inauthentic, a mask, if you will. Not that my beliefs weren't real. But that I was saying a lot and was really good at looking like i was a-ok....but i wasn't. Praise God for this past year. It was hell ...straight up. But because of that, I am new in Him.

"For am I now seeking the approval of man, or God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ."- Galatians 1:10

This summer will be amazing. Without a doubt.

Pray for:
courage; 3 months is a long time
wisdom
people receiving letters, that they may have accepting hearts
kids who will be at camp
families in the villages
the rest of the staff; Kim and Amanda (camp leaders)

I know that prayer was started long ago, and I am so grateful for that

"Lift up your heads, O gates! And be lifted up, O ancient doors, that the King of glory may come in. Who is this King of glory? The Lord, strong and mighty, the Lord, mighty in battle! Lift up your heads, O gates! And lift them up, O ancient doors, that the King of glory may come in. who is this King of glory? The Lord of Hosts, he is the King of glory!" -Psalm 24:7-10